knives

martyrdom and suicide

Things written on my hand today:

revitalizing society through reform/reinterpretation of Islam

liberation

fighting [text unreadable] opposition

comparatively analysing Islamic reform discources

Huh. First day of December and it's snowing. Awesome.

Now if only I didn't have to go out in it. Wheelchairs and ice...

Week one is over. I can't decide if it's gone quickly, or if I feel like I've been at it for ages.

It's been a busy week. I've had to sign on new courses, change seminars groups and times, sort out my care, and try to get my dissertation rolling. I had a bit of a problem when I found out one of my lectures was up a flight of stairs with no wheelchair access. It wasn't so far that I couldn't walk if I went on my hands and knees, but it's hardly an ideal situation. Someone would have to carry up my chair which could be dangerous, and after four hours of lectures my brain is usually a little fuzzy which means my balance and coordination are off, so it's not that safe for me either, nor particularly dignified. I dislike making a fuss over these things, which is ridiculous considering if it were someone else I'd be demanding a change and citing DDA. Nonetheless, my helper contacted Student Support who encouraged my department to change the location of the lecture if they could. Apparently those rooms aren't supposed to be used at all because they don't meet DDA requirements. My department managed to get a room swap, but I do feel bad for giving them extra work considering how stressed and chaotic everything is at the moment. One of my other lectures had to be moved because the room we were scheduled in was far too small. Now we have a two hour lecture with each hour in a different theatre. Hardly ideal but better than being cramped in the tiny room they had us in.

I had a little disappointment on Wednesday. In the summer I attended a Tai Chi class which also included Qi Gong as a summer treat. My instructor was very good with me and after I explained my health difficulties she was very encouraging and helped me to work around my illness so that I could help my body improve without causing relapse. The Qi Gong was wonderful. The breathing made me feel so good mentally, I can definitely see why it's recommended for well-being. I also learned some Chen Tai Chi hand form I could do seated. After so many years of having a body which doesn't often do what I want, it was great to be able to take part in something which involved controlled, fluid movement without feeling like death afterwards. I very much enjoyed it and I want to continue it.

Last week I found out there were Tai Chi classes at the leisure centre on campus, and I thought I'd go along with some friends to a taster session. It didn't exactly go brilliantly. As soon as the instructor saw my wheelchair he didn't really know how to react and rather than take me aside to discuss privately with me what I could do he just talked across the room in front of the whole class and advised me to sit it out. The class had just started but it would have only taken a minute. I think he was a bit embarrassed. Unfortunately, I couldn't have done the Tai Chi he was teaching anyway. There was a lot of foot work that my body isn't ready to cope with yet. Just one of those things.

I also didn't find the instructor particularly inspiring, and not just because of the way he interacted with me. He was very chaotic and kept leaping all over the room trying to rush the class through a form so they could get a taster of what they'd be doing if they carried on through the term. I didn't really feel it was particularly representative of how good Tai Chi can be for you. In the class I went to there was an atmosphere of calmness and even serenity after a few minutes of warm up, breathing exercises, and gently going into form. There was none of that in his class. It felt a little tense. He says he often teaches like this and it works, I can't really argue with that as I'm hardly an expert, but I would think it better to take it a little slower as a class would normally be to give a suggestion of what it's really like.

In other news, I've seen my dissertation tutor and she's given me the go-ahead on the area I want to pursue. I've narrowed it down to looking at the state in Islam, in particular the move from nationalism and reform Islam to the rise of Islamism. I might look at Arab socialism and how it affected Islamist groups such as the Muslim Brotherhood. Or I might take a particular country as a case study like Egypt, Iran, or Saudi Arabia. Obviously this is still a hugely broad topic area but it's narrower than it was a couple of months ago. Progress, progress.

My friend is back from America, where she has been studying religion for a year. We've only got one module together, but it's great to have her around again. In an odd way it's like she's never been away, and yet so much has changed. On a sadder note, I have to attend a memorial service tomorrow for one of my lecturers who passed away in the summer. I think is important to go but I'm not looking forward to it.

They're finally releasing the 90s X-Men series on DVD! Yay! I loved all the Marvel cartoons growing up, but X-Men was always my favourite. Half the time I didn't even understand the story but there was something compelling about the characters and universe that kept drawing me back. I  never really left.

I've just seen an article on the Daily Express website about ME. It's part of a doctor's regular column, and has cemented my view that doctors shouldn't be allowed to write on subjects of which they clearly have little understanding. Dr Leonard begins by claiming that the cause of ME is unknown, and thus makes treatment difficult. This is true, but she fails to mention that there has been no governmental research into possible biological causes of ME. Despite this, research, often funded by charity, has revealed many possible causes of ME, including gene expression and the immune system, as well as the role of enteroviruses. If these avenues were more aggressively pursued we may have a greater understanding of ME. 

However, what really concerns me about the article is the statement: 'It does seem that graded exercise therapy is often very beneficial. Activity management is also important – which means being active but not pushing yourself too hard', and the referral of patients with a neurological condition (as defined by the WHO) to the RCP. What has been shown time and time again with ME is that exercise and increasing activity without working with the body (what GET traditionally involves) is dangerous and potentially devastating. At one stage in my illness I had mild ME where I was near full health. I increased my activity too much and relapsed terribly. I am still recovering from it, and that happened years ago. ME is not the result of deconditioning, increasing activity and doing more exercise will not make an ME sufferer better. It will make them worse, no matter the severity of their condition. There is something to be said for pacing, where a management programme is devised in which a patient manages their health without over doing it, so the condition has a chance at stabilizing. Only then, when the body is recovering, is activity very gently increased so that relapse is not provoked. This is a world away from GET. Throw away comments in the national media into ME are irresponsible and dangerous. Relatives, friends, and parents of those with ME who do not understand the condition may come away with a false understanding of the illness, and end up making ME patients' lives even more miserable.

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/62772

*gets off soap box*

Some good things about today:

It is sunny! The south of England has had almost permanent rain for weeks now.

My brother, his girlfriend, and my niece are visiting.  I haven't seen them since March I think. My dad bought my niece a toy - it's 3 little ducks on a string that quack when you pull them. The dog is scared of it, but then, he is scared of traffic cones.

It's my friend's birthday!


Some bad things about today:

My mum isn't here to see my brother et al.

I've had this thing less than 24 hours and it's already making me procrastinate over work I should be doing. I'm supposed to be researching Masters courses and continuing to read around my dissertation. I'm going into my third year studying Religion at Lancaster Uni. I still don't quite know what my dissertation is going to be on. Apparently this is ok and not uncommon. I know it's going to be on political Islam but not much more than that right now. Every time  I think I've found the area I want to pursue I find another. I'm considering looking into: the role of apocalyptic thought in Islamic radicalism, the influence of revivalist thinkers on modern thinkers, Wahabism, ijtihad and how this has changed over time, the move from nationalism to contemporary political thought, Qutb/Mawdudi, or maybe further research into the modernist thinkers. I hope my supervisor can help me to whittle down my options - I'm so bad at making decisions!



Good luck to the GB paralympians still competing!  37 golds and counting!